Future Beauty Queens Gifts

Miss America IQ Pageant

A Manicure

'I'm going to have to cut it - Daddy is complaining about the shampoo bill again.'

'Ok. Now I'm sexy.'

"You must be patient, Mrs. Wast fall. Rome wasn't built in a day, you know."

"I see you shaved your legs...for your boyfriend?"

'Stop laughing - Have you never seen a girl putting her make-up on?'

The return of Miss Subways

"Believe me, you never looked better since you fell into that vast of skin cream."

'After having the botox injections in my lips I can handle really hot coffee.'

Miss Advertising transformed in the dressing room.

'Finally. Her lipstick is just right.'

Mary Christmas preparing for her big night out.

'I know exactly what you mean...men are such hot heads!'

Woman Gets Taken Away By Hairdryer.

Circus Pageant

'You guys like to get into the holiday spirits?'

'Ok, ok... I'm coming but with all those CCTV camera about I like to look my best.'

'I'm your new editor and not only is this cartoon the funniest one ever made, but it also discovered the cure for cancer and exposes a new,safe and free energy source and it's brought an end to religious wars and that turns me on and I use...'

"Congratulations to Miss Jupiter."

'Botox you fool! not buttocks!'

'Look! Mum's furious at the cost of her botox treatment'

Model's aspirations

'Weren't they the ones who had wished for world peace?'

Miss America IQ pageant.

Beauty contest

Dear Diary, today I'm feeling beautiful...

Woman wearing Miss 1977 sash: 'Things pretty much went downhill from there.'

'I wonder if I would be allowed to wear a baseball cap.'

'I'd love to be in Who's Who.'

Headline: Miss World moved to London - 'Why so much fuss about a woman getting stoned?'

“It’s the same everywhere: body over brains.”