Future Barrister Pillows

"We spent our everything putting John through law school. Fortunately, he's a bankruptcy attorney."

"Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law."

Can you tell me how to sue you for flunking me out of law school?

So you'd like to be a lawyer...

Trial by Media

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

"If you really want independence, you should get into contract law."

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

'There they go - off on their own - and a finer bunch of fledgelings one couldn't ask.'

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

I love Lawyers

"Hey, I just figured out how to sue the school for loss of my prime childbearing years."

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

Barristers

"Oh dear, it's just as we suspected.. they do come from another planet."

"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

Patent Attorney (invisible man)

'I'm not playing 'Bride and Groom' unless you sign this pre-nuptial aggreement!'

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

'I think I'll become a lawyer.'

"Bailiff."

'The pioneers opened the frontier, but it wasn't legal until brave lawyers blazed the paper trail!'

Junior barrister prompting a deaf and testy chief

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

Law School teacher.

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'