Future Lawyer Pillows

"I'm hoping for a pardon from the Governor."

I wanted to be a barrister or solicitor but now I want to be a burden on society

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

"Why would anyone hire a barrister, anyone can talk...I'm taking on my own case just as soon as I finish this triple by-pass."

'Before I start, my lawyer advised me to have you all sign this non-disclosure agreement...'

'Let's arbitrate.'

"Rachel! If you can't even stay focused on spreading peat moss, how do you expect to get into law school?"

'Mum-I need a solicitor!'

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

'You're flunking me? -- What about the statute of limitations?'

'Remember, Son - You're never too young to litigate.'

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

"Why can't I pay my tuition on a contingency fee basis?"

"How are you going to become a divorce attorney if you can't do division?"

"The Supreme Court refused to hear my case, so I'll get off my phone and clean my room like you asked."

"Sure raising my allowance is great, daddy, but what I want is power of attorney!"

"I can't be late for school today, Mom I'm a key witness!"

A good future in politics

"Before I say anything, I'd like to have my friend, who wants to be a lawyer when he grows up, present"

'My lab partner wants a prenuptial agreement!'

'Let's play doctor - you be the patient, you be the surgeon, and I'll be the malpractice-attorney.'

'Will this help me get into law school?'

The Boy Who Wanted To Be A Lawyer - "Father Desmond, we need an exorcism."

'An internship is pretty much the only way to get your foot in the door these days...'

'... Because it's the law! That's why!'

You've got to help me, Em. Sure. My mom's hot on this strict, Chinese-style parenting. Welcome to my world. Tell her that your parents aren't pushing you to be a doctor. Sure. They gave up on that. They'll settle for Harvard law school. That's too much information.

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

'There they go - off on their own - and a finer bunch of fledgelings one couldn't ask.'

"If you really want independence, you should get into contract law."

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

'Will you raise my allowance? I want to play doctor but can't afford the malpractice insurance.'

"When I grow up, I want to go into medicine and help people who can pay out of pocket."

'I got an alleged C on my criminal law test.'

'Forget the DaVinci Code! I'm still trying to crack the tax code!'