Future Legal Expert Pillows

'When on the stand, keep your answers short, to the point, and in the form of a question.'

Trial by Media

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

"Amen. . . void where prohibited by law."

'There they go - off on their own - and a finer bunch of fledgelings one couldn't ask.'

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

"Hey, I just figured out how to sue the school for loss of my prime childbearing years."

"Whoa, don't ask constitutional questions you don't want to know the answers to."

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

'I'm not playing 'Bride and Groom' unless you sign this pre-nuptial aggreement!'

'Miss Carruthers, check and see if we have an extradition treaty with Disneyland.'

"The Supreme Court says a corporation is a 'person?' Well, have you ever tried to take a corporation out for a nice, friendly beer?"

'I think I'll become a lawyer.'

Truth

'You're flunking me? -- What about the statute of limitations?'

'There have been a few niggling little concerns expressed about the lack of diversity in the supreme court.'

Statue of Security

"I propose legislation to simplify Brexit - the Americans are having a hard time following it."

Lady Justice.

'He said his first words today - 'Let's sue them'.'

"Miss Frobisher, could you get me the State of Arizona V's the Apache Nation file?"

'The truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth in what sense?'

"We're in luck, not a word about retrospectivity."

'Let's play doctor - you be the patient, you be the surgeon, and I'll be the malpractice-attorney.'

Sub Post Office/Sub-Justice

"To indict or not to indict... No, to charge or not to charge... No..." "Don't worry. I know how this turns out." "Mueller's Hamlet"

Comments. Complaints. Constitutional Amendments.

The hour of justice

Fairtale prosecutions.

Antonin Scalia

Justice