Junior Barrister Pillows

'We never should have bought him that little lawyer kit. Suddenly, everything I ask him to do is capricious or arbitrary.'

'First, I'd like to list the mitigating circumstances.'

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

'I'm not playing 'Bride and Groom' unless you sign this pre-nuptial aggreement!'

MUM! No one wanted to buy my cowpats

'Sure, I took your shovel. Ethics doesn't kick in for a year or two.'

'I prefer the term 'whistleblower' to tattletale.'

"I'll go to my room and do my homework, but I want time and a half."

'At first I was grounded, but my lawyer was able to plea bargain it down to 30 minutes in the Time Out Chair.'

"Finally...school starts next week."

I rule by fear.

Small child checks out a book.

'I wonder what the statue of limitations is on something like this?'

'The doctor will be right with you shortly, he's finishing medical school.'

'Pick up Carlson on the end, he's got proven performance data.'

"My assets consist of a piggy bank, 2 teeth for the tooth fairy, and whatever change I find in the living room sofa."

"I know it's the right thing to do, but if we call the cops this sandbox will be tied up for weeks."

"This is the little league. You can't negotiate a signing bonus"

Anatomy.

'If that's the Police Station - we're not here!'

"Oh no, those aren't recharging stations for phones. We have those there so physicians can get themselves recharged!"

So you'd like to be a lawyer...

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

"The good news is, the children in the district have strong writing skills. The bad news is, we have sustained a letter-writing campaign from the third grade."

Grand rounds vs. ground rounds.

NHS application system: 'Let me in! I'm a Junior Doctor!'

"We'd like you to be at breaking point seven days a week."

'Is he dead, or is it intern fatigue?'

"Your Honor, if it please the court I'd like to deliver my opening comments in the form of a power ballad."

Out of hours GP service machine.

A barrister with his first brief

'Reflexes normal.'

'Correct. And in the case of a cardiac arrest, every second counts. Who can tell me why? Anyone? Clock's ticking.'

'You've handled your allowance responsibly for three years so we're cutting it by three percent and requiring you to pay a share of your health care expenses.'

Eventually I'd like to major in cosmetic surgery.