Fussy Eater Humorist Gifts

'I don't cheese with holes in it.'

'Yeah, my mum never forces me to try something new, but then again, we always eat the same thing...'

"If it's vegan, gluten-free and low-carb, then yes, Polly wants a cracker."

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

"Five hamburgers with buns, three hamburgers without buns and two buns, without hamburgers."

"Sorry, dear... I don't have a pumpkin spiced flat white chai latte. I just have this one..."

"Charles didn't like tofu."

"They always throw us stale bread, so I've decided to bake my own, fresh break..."

'How is the water prepared?'

"This alphabet soup is in Times New Roman. I ordered Segoe Script! May I please speak to the chef?"

Somewhere in France - The Eliot sisters come face to face with escargots.

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

"Michael, do your dinner."

"Got anything else? I gave up carbs."

"For regurgitated food, it's great, but the presentation..."

"I feel like I can't trust myself around food."

"Eat those veggies or I'll change the wifi password."

"Looks like we'll be eating leftovers for a month!"

'Could we send the broccoli to Haiti?'

'There is something wrong with the spinach. It tastes good.'

"Skunk! How is it?"

'for the record, it tasted like black licorice.'

'Ketchup? You know that's an insult to the chef, right?'

"Don't get me wrong, I like apples, but for some reason, that seems to be the only treat they ever give us..."

'I don't really hate vegetables, but if I eat them, what's next...GIBLETS?'

Picasso paints AND eats like a child!

"How could they possibly know it's gluten-free, low gi. . . ?"

'Wait a minute! I want it stirred, not shaken!'

'It was probably the curds and whey that really frightened Miss Muffet away.'

"Do I have to eat the cherry?"

A single man can be seen through the front window of the "ME Only Restaurant".

'C'mon, just eat a mouseful.'

'I'm glad I don't like spinach because if I liked it I'd eat it and I hate the stuff!'

"Ewww – Cabernet with tuna fish?"

"You're not being punished, Kenny...Salad is what we're having for dinner."