Furry Friendologist Gifts

"That's just not the real me."

Playing Fetch.

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

A crowd of happy pet owners.

"Pick me!"

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

'When he's happy he can cool the entire downstairs.'

"It get it – you're hungry."

Canine Companion

'Yessir, Ben us fly fisherman answer to a higher calling.'

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

"When I first arrived, Young Master was always with me and Old Master didn't want anything to do with me, nor it's the opposite: Go figure..."

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

'I really don't think mouth-to-mouth wroks on fish, Ben.'

Happy.

"We've found a marvelous trainer for Rex."

'Bloody favouritism I call it.'

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

"He's already getting attached to you."

Family with pets.

'It's normal, don't worry, people on the street just love patting puppies...'

"A little help, please."

'He rides in the car with his head out the window a lot.'

"You can either make a pledge or join us in this weekend's Barkathon."

"Be kind"

Beware of the Dog Hair.

'Remember me?'

'When he comes through that door, let's all jump up and give him a big kiss!'

Christmas Pets

'Rabbits make great pets, but it's best to have them one at a time.'

Pet psychic -- yup, she's for real.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were my dog Willie."

"Sorry, bud. You know the rules... Dibs is dibs."

'Technically, he's on a leash, so I say we let this one go.'