Furry Family Analyst Pillows

Knowing your place

Foster failure

"Bad dog."

Dogs

'He rides in the car with his head out the window a lot.'

'Cheryl, you are getting way too wrapped up in the dog.'

'Honestly, now that Tiger is neutered I'm perfectly happy just cuddling.'

'If Mom says no, you ask Dad -- it's called the 'checks and balances' system.'

Dogs Aren't/Are Just For Christmas

'Our tabby was pre-approved for a credit card!'

A boy and his spin patrol.

'It's time you learned, son - in-laws and outlaws aren't necessarily opposites.'

"You work for the family business, and I am your father, not the patriarchal oppressor..."

"He wants a second opinion."

'Okay, okay - is there anyone OTHER that the bride's mother who objects to this marriage?'

'A vet!! Take Princess to a vet?'

'I'm with my minister father and my senator mom through the week and my senator mom through the week. I'm the ultimate division between Church and State.'

'Someday, son, 50 of this will belong to your ex-wife,'

'I blame my parents, they never set me any standards worth rebelling against.'

Watchdog

Hairy dog looks the same both ends.

"He's feeling neglected. Should we text him?"

'Are you here, Alfred?'

"I can't hear you. Are you playing with the dog again?"

'They sort of grow on you.'

"Let's talk about your overprotective mother."

"She's one of those bad mothers who say they're bad mothers but think they're good mothers."

"Meet your new baby brother! We decided to upgrade."

"All it says is 'loyal and trustworthy friend', but that's not the real me."

'Where it asks, 'head of household'. . . who is it. . . you or Marmaduke?'

"Don't fight us, Timmy. We have numerical superiority."

"Typical, you knew my mother was coming today, so you had to have a big meal to be torpid for a few days!"

"Oh no, not dinner again!"