Furniture Consultant Gifts

"We only use this table every now and then. Not sure whether that makes it occasional or periodic?"

In the Guru District

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

Men's business romper.

"This new chair has the smoothest 360 swivel action on the market!"

"Ikea for hippies" 1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood

'This one's good if you like to toss and turn all night.'

Instructions for Bow Tie Wearers

'I had no idea Ikea had been around so long.'

"I like you in that one—it gives you an aura of mindfulness."

'You're hopeful - worrying about what underwear to wear for the office party!'

'For heaven's sake, Lois, when are you going to give up this mad dieting of yours?' (woman falls through drain).

Unfinished Funiture Store.

The Venus Flytrap Leather Sectional

'I'll take it!'

'I'd like to match this credenza.'

'Not a word to Alfred, but the spare bedroom is worth losing the fourteen pounds!'

"Love the bag, Stell! Very career."

GQ Magazine: Stay at Home Special.

'And this is Eddy, he's been giving virtual tours long before computers.'

'Make up your mind, folks... King size or Queen size?'

Caveman invents an armchair and his dog sits in it.

Gianni Tatti's Dining-Room Chair

An assortment of vegetables in the form of Tables

"You can't find the menswear department? Oh, I'm sorry, Sir- I was standing in front of it."

'Your honor, if I may digress for a moment, who does your hair?'

"'IF modom decides to change it' - don't you mean WHEN??"

"It's beautiful. I'm just not sure it's $800 beautiful."

"Pretty cushy, am I right?"

'This was designed for people who have mastered easy chairs and want to attempt something more difficult.'

'I just invented the 'chair' - It relieves lower back pain!'

"Well, do you want to buy this sofa or not? You've been on it for three days!"

'They're both nice - which can you ill afford least?'

How would Madam like to pay?

Trendies, INC