Furlong Fanatic Gifts

'What's this?' - 'Your sealed orders, not to be opened till 7 furlongs.'

'Fetch.'

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

"Why do dogs wag their tails? Because it always brings results."

'Super Dog'

"I'm working from home today."

'Or we could just ask her what kind of dog it is.'

Canine obidience class: 'He wouldn't budge from the armchair.'

Alternative fielding positions

The Popularity of Pickleball Inspires a New Wave of Hybrid Sports.

"Then one day, as I caught a tennis ball in midair, I asked myself, 'Is this all there is?'"

"A little help, please."

Super hero dog.

Boy and his dog

You're arrogant, aloof and spoiled...but I mean that in the nicest way.

Christmas Pets

"Throw, fetch, throw, fetch, throw, fetch. It all seems so obsessive-compulsive."

'I'll fetch your newspaper and your pipe, but the slippers thing is just too kinky.'

"Well, if she didn't insist on giving me this stupid look, she wouldn't need to buy me coats in winter..."

"Getting the ball in the hole on the first swing is good isn't it?"

'Oh that just means he wants you to rub his tummy.'

A Little Long Jumper.

'I'll bet you taught him that!'

'Max and I have a give and take relationship. He sniffs my butt...and I let him.'

'Sorry Ben, I never noticed the baby-sitting clause in the stud contract.'

'No,silly-I asked for a sand WEDGE!'

"Give it up—Frisbee is your game."

Fido and Fifi

"Watch his feet - if he doesn't step into the throw, he's going to fake it."

I went a little crazy with the pet hair sticky roller.

"Honestly, I prefer stick."

"Yes Sir, we have secret storage locations all over the forest, so we can safely manage your favourite bone and toy..."

'Yes, Mr. Osborne, this is an intervention. Your family had no other choice. Golf is an illness...'

"Love means I narrowly chose you over a bunch of cats."