Fur-free Advocate Gifts

"What?"

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

"When is my next parole hearing?"

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

'We don't want you poking around here any more!'

"I have no thumbs."

Yeah, I know what you're talking about: humans have an unhealthy interest in my horn too...

"Look, children are just pathetic substitutes for people who can't have pets."

'Remember me?'

Save the unicorn.

"Who wrote this "Law of the Jungle" nonsense? It is highly biased in favour of predators!"

"Cloning is an imperfect science."

"What do you suggest...the tuna fish or the peanut butter and jellyfish sandwich?"

Of course your master calls you 'Man's best friend'. As your attorney I advise you to get it in writing.

"'Tis the story of a woeful refugee... ...whose plight has been forgotten. An admirable, amiable sort is he... but boy is he downtrodden. With courage of the kind you rarely see, he defended this land, when Redcoats invaded over land and sea, peck their knees and hands. And how did America repay this debt it owed its forest bird? Did you put our noble visage on the national seal as we would have preferred? No... You ate us. Just like the British did. I really think that it's the least you can do

'I had no idea would be a choice.'

'I don't trust humans: Some times, they throw us bread, some other times, they shoot at us!'

Dogs Aren't/Are Just For Christmas

'You see son, it's jobs like these that give us a bad name...'

"If anything else, it beats bending over!"

'I can't recommend the beef.'

This is Giselle, our bichon frise, and Fred, our legacy pet.""This is Giselle, our bichon frise, and Fred, our legacy pet."

Pick Your Own Baby Lamb Chop

A boy who loves cows/burgers

'Oh, it is so totally on, now!'

'Hey, mac, is this your idea of glasnost?'

'It's a 'Free Willy From Hollywood' petition: Would you please sign it...'

"Don’t worry, girl. I’m working on our ‘no puppy left behind.’"

Save the termites.

"I think it's unfair to call her a "crazy cat-lady": She just loves all 63 of us..."

'I thought this was a documentary about animal cruelty.'

If that call's for me, I'm not here.

"… She's simply asking that you no longer refer to her as 'the dog.'"

"Why... are there so many people who never eat pork? Because we have some excellent PR people working on our behalf."

'The environment people only worry about endangered species, not endangered individuals.'