Fur Ball Humorist Gifts

What if cats talked dirty...

Tell me again how aloof and independent cats are.

"I'm not growling, it's my stomach rumbling!"

"I'm not napping yet, but I am getting ready to with a pre-nap warm up."

'Just taking the dog for a walk, Dear.'

You're arrogant, aloof and spoiled...but I mean that in the nicest way.

"Projectile hairballing."

Cats on the couch.

'Oh that just means he wants you to rub his tummy.'

"What we have here is a severe case of over-growing."

'Sorry Ben, I never noticed the baby-sitting clause in the stud contract.'

"Love means I narrowly chose you over a bunch of cats."

Fido and Fifi

Dog to other: 'I think I'm becoming quite addicted to pats on the head.'

'Wait a minute - isn't this one yours and that one mine?'

"Don't you just love that new cat smell?"

"Well I got a dog because I wanted to spend more time brushing hair off my clothes, and picking up poop."

"In case you hadn't noticed, this is a multiple cat home!"

Violinist welcomed by cats

Pet Hobbies

Menage a Paws.

'Will work for tummy rub.'

"The wings help. Now pick up the bowl and I'll chase it around the room a bit."

Looks like this is the only contest Fluffy has a chance of winning today!

"Who's showing remorse now that it's time for sentencing? Huh? Who's remorseful now? Who was soooo bad?"

Birds cue ball escape.

"It's a great property: the highlights are three cat-flaps, two litter trays, two scratch poles and of course, no bath..."

Cat wears jacket: "It's 100 per cent real furball."

That thing you threw up was only a hairball.

Chaos at the vet's office.

"I have to go – it's time to feed the cat."

'Ease up a bit on the cue ball.'

"If pressured, I will run!"