Fur Ball Humorist Gifts

What if cats talked dirty...

Tell me again how aloof and independent cats are.

"I'm not growling, it's my stomach rumbling!"

'Just taking the dog for a walk, Dear.'

"I'm not napping yet, but I am getting ready to with a pre-nap warm up."

You're arrogant, aloof and spoiled...but I mean that in the nicest way.

"Projectile hairballing."

Cats on the couch.

"What we have here is a severe case of over-growing."

'Oh that just means he wants you to rub his tummy.'

'Sorry Ben, I never noticed the baby-sitting clause in the stud contract.'

'Max and I have a give and take relationship. He sniffs my butt...and I let him.'

I went a little crazy with the pet hair sticky roller.

"Love means I narrowly chose you over a bunch of cats."

Fido and Fifi

Dog to other: 'I think I'm becoming quite addicted to pats on the head.'

"Well I got a dog because I wanted to spend more time brushing hair off my clothes, and picking up poop."

Sigh. They never ask me to play.

'Wait a minute - isn't this one yours and that one mine?'

"Don't you just love that new cat smell?"

Pet Hobbies

"The wings help. Now pick up the bowl and I'll chase it around the room a bit."

Violinist welcomed by cats

"In case you hadn't noticed, this is a multiple cat home!"

Looks like this is the only contest Fluffy has a chance of winning today!

Menage a Paws.

'Will work for tummy rub.'

"Who's showing remorse now that it's time for sentencing? Huh? Who's remorseful now? Who was soooo bad?"

Birds cue ball escape.

Cat wears jacket: "It's 100 per cent real furball."

"I have to go – it's time to feed the cat."

That thing you threw up was only a hairball.

"It's a great property: the highlights are three cat-flaps, two litter trays, two scratch poles and of course, no bath..."

Chaos at the vet's office.

'Ease up a bit on the cue ball.'