Fur Baby Guardians Gifts

"So, what's it to be, chicken unfit for human consumption, or beef unfit for human consumption?"

"I think she's figured out what W-A-L-K means."

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

Rusty starts to have very violent thoughts toward his tail.

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

'Yes I know I'm intelligent and famous, but I'd trade it all for a good old belly scratching.'

Fleas Navidad.

"...do they teach manners at obedience school?"

"I'm not his best friend. But he is in my extended network."

"Back when we got him, Rufus was a child substitute. Now he's just a dog."

Cat Zoom Meeting

"Helen, Don, you're probably wondering why I called you here today. I'm afraid the answer is achingly simple: I can't get down."

'Hey you! Yeah, you! Who invited you?'

'I'll bet you taught him that!'

'That's right...he'll lick you to death.'

'I had no idea there were so many types of dog treats.'

'We've GOT to get the bullet out,,,'

'She feeds me, walks me, washes me, and picks up after me...yet...I'm supposed to be man's best friend?'

"Pampered?"

'I think he remembers you, Doctor.'

Pet Owners' Date Night

'I remember, Fido, winning isn't the only thing...there are also stud fees.'

'Trouble is, he rubbed my nose in it'

Cat to owner: 'Define 'affection'.'

'I feel much safer living in a gated community.'

"Have you seen what goes into that stuff?"

"She never took to the leash."

"I don't know how I'd make it through this without you." "Food."

'I've never seen a healthier kitten. Cuter, most definitely, but never healthier.'

'What's all this pet's rights stuff addressed to you?'

"It's not that you ate the sirloin tips. It's the lying."

Shepherd watching sheep on closed circuit TV

'His contract gives him first refusal rights.'

'No, no, no I said SIT'

'...How can a cat get diabetes?'