Fur Baby Custodian Gifts

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

"No no, I said sit!!"

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

"I think she's figured out what W-A-L-K means."

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

Bathing the dog

Rusty starts to have very violent thoughts toward his tail.

'Yes I know I'm intelligent and famous, but I'd trade it all for a good old belly scratching.'

"Look, children are just pathetic substitutes for people who can't have pets."

Fleas Navidad.

"Here's the baby's first birthday, her second, her third, look at her gifts..."

Fur Baby

"...do they teach manners at obedience school?"

"I'm not his best friend. But he is in my extended network."

"Your motivation is that you're a dog and it's food."

Cat Zoom Meeting

"Back when we got him, Rufus was a child substitute. Now he's just a dog."

"It's a good boy!"

'I'll bet you taught him that!'

'Hey you! Yeah, you! Who invited you?'

'That's right...he'll lick you to death.'

"Helen, Don, you're probably wondering why I called you here today. I'm afraid the answer is achingly simple: I can't get down."

'I do not pamper the dog, now get out of his chair!'

Upper East Side Dog Park

'I had no idea there were so many types of dog treats.'

Cat and owner sticking out tongues at each other.

'Oh there you are...you naughty girl! What have you been up to this time?'

'We've GOT to get the bullet out,,,'

"Well, it looks like you found Rexy's sweet spot!"

"Congratulations. It's a litter."

'She feeds me, walks me, washes me, and picks up after me...yet...I'm supposed to be man's best friend?'

"Pampered?"

Pet Adoptions

Dogs are smart enough to understand human commands. Cats are smart enough to ignore them.