Fur Baby Worshiper Gifts

'In ancient Egypt, cats were treated like gods and in this house, it's pretty much the same: Come in friend...'

"No no, I said sit!!"

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

"I think she's figured out what W-A-L-K means."

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

Rusty starts to have very violent thoughts toward his tail.

'Yes I know I'm intelligent and famous, but I'd trade it all for a good old belly scratching.'

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

"Look, children are just pathetic substitutes for people who can't have pets."

Fleas Navidad.

"Here's the baby's first birthday, her second, her third, look at her gifts..."

Fur Baby

"...do they teach manners at obedience school?"

Pyramid catflap...

"I'm not his best friend. But he is in my extended network."

"Your motivation is that you're a dog and it's food."

Cat Zoom Meeting

"Back when we got him, Rufus was a child substitute. Now he's just a dog."

Upper East Side Dog Park

"It's a good boy!"

'That's right...he'll lick you to death.'

'I'll bet you taught him that!'

'I do not pamper the dog, now get out of his chair!'

"Helen, Don, you're probably wondering why I called you here today. I'm afraid the answer is achingly simple: I can't get down."

Cat and owner sticking out tongues at each other.

'We've GOT to get the bullet out,,,'

"Congratulations. It's a litter."

'Oh there you are...you naughty girl! What have you been up to this time?'

'It's a statue of St. Francis of Assisi. I had it specially made for my hospital.'

'She feeds me, walks me, washes me, and picks up after me...yet...I'm supposed to be man's best friend?'

"Pampered?"

Pet Adoptions

Dogs are smart enough to understand human commands. Cats are smart enough to ignore them.

Cat to owner: 'Define 'affection'.'