Fur Baby Lover Gifts

'...How can a cat get diabetes?'

"You're aware that a dog isn't a substitute for having kids, aren't you?"

'His contract gives him first refusal rights.'

'Of course I don't think you are silly, Mrs. Fifner. A dog doesn't have to be a purebred in order for you to love it."

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

"No no, I said sit!!"

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

"I think she's figured out what W-A-L-K means."

"His real name is Major, but everyone call him GET DOWN!"

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

Bathing the dog

'Yes I know I'm intelligent and famous, but I'd trade it all for a good old belly scratching.'

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

'We'll need lots of nappy changes today, the T. V. just said it's going to be wet and windy.'

"Look, children are just pathetic substitutes for people who can't have pets."

celebrating a birth.

"Here's the baby's first birthday, her second, her third, look at her gifts..."

Fleas Navidad.

"...do they teach manners at obedience school?"

Fur Baby

"I'm not his best friend. But he is in my extended network."

"Your motivation is that you're a dog and it's food."

"Back when we got him, Rufus was a child substitute. Now he's just a dog."

Cat Zoom Meeting

'I do not pamper the dog, now get out of his chair!'

'They're just adorable at this age - before they develop a personality.'

"We get fantastic indoor facilities during the cold months."

"Helen, Don, you're probably wondering why I called you here today. I'm afraid the answer is achingly simple: I can't get down."

Upper East Side Dog Park

"It's a good boy!"

Maternity ward: 'Oh boy - stereo!'

"Dear Mum. As contractions begin I thank you for letting me share your uterus. When do I get my bond money back??"

Cat and owner sticking out tongues at each other.

"Congratulations. It's a litter."