Fur Baby Owner Gifts

A genius never goes hungry

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

"No no, I said sit!!"

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

"I think she's figured out what W-A-L-K means."

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

Rusty starts to have very violent thoughts toward his tail.

'Yes I know I'm intelligent and famous, but I'd trade it all for a good old belly scratching.'

Babies vs. Dogs

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

"Just gotta wait 'till she wakes up."

"Look, children are just pathetic substitutes for people who can't have pets."

Fleas Navidad.

"My owner is teaching me to think before barking, which gave Federal Express plenty of time to clobber me."

"Here's the baby's first birthday, her second, her third, look at her gifts..."

'Who had the ocean whitefish and tua paté?'

"...do they teach manners at obedience school?"

Walking the dog - 'surprise'!

'A bone is a bone is a bone...'

Fur Baby

"I'm not his best friend. But he is in my extended network."

"Back when we got him, Rufus was a child substitute. Now he's just a dog."

"Your motivation is that you're a dog and it's food."

Cat Zoom Meeting

'We've tried everything else without success and have now made the decision to adopt.'

"Stop asking me. I don't know who's a good boy."

"It's a good boy!"

When is he coming home buddy?

Upper East Side Dog Park

'I do not pamper the dog, now get out of his chair!'

'That's right...he'll lick you to death.'

"Helen, Don, you're probably wondering why I called you here today. I'm afraid the answer is achingly simple: I can't get down."

'Max and I have a give and take relationship. He sniffs my butt...and I let him.'