Fur Baby Owner Gifts

A genius never goes hungry

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

"No no, I said sit!!"

"I think she's figured out what W-A-L-K means."

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

Rusty starts to have very violent thoughts toward his tail.

"Just gotta wait 'till she wakes up."

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

Babies vs. Dogs

'Yes I know I'm intelligent and famous, but I'd trade it all for a good old belly scratching.'

"Look, children are just pathetic substitutes for people who can't have pets."

"Here's the baby's first birthday, her second, her third, look at her gifts..."

'Who had the ocean whitefish and tua paté?'

Walking the dog - 'surprise'!

Fur Baby

'A bone is a bone is a bone...'

"...do they teach manners at obedience school?"

"I'm not his best friend. But he is in my extended network."

"Your motivation is that you're a dog and it's food."

"Back when we got him, Rufus was a child substitute. Now he's just a dog."

Cat Zoom Meeting

'We've tried everything else without success and have now made the decision to adopt.'

Upper East Side Dog Park

"Stop asking me. I don't know who's a good boy."

When is he coming home buddy?

'I do not pamper the dog, now get out of his chair!'

'That's right...he'll lick you to death.'

'I'll bet you taught him that!'

"Helen, Don, you're probably wondering why I called you here today. I'm afraid the answer is achingly simple: I can't get down."