Fur Baby Parents Gifts

Rusty starts to have very violent thoughts toward his tail.

'That's right...he'll lick you to death.'

"No no, I said sit!!"

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

"I think she's figured out what W-A-L-K means."

"I have your gender reveal results. Boy, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, boy..."

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

Babies vs. Dogs

'Yes I know I'm intelligent and famous, but I'd trade it all for a good old belly scratching.'

"Just gotta wait 'till she wakes up."

"Look, children are just pathetic substitutes for people who can't have pets."

"Here's the baby's first birthday, her second, her third, look at her gifts..."

Fleas Navidad.

"My owner is teaching me to think before barking, which gave Federal Express plenty of time to clobber me."

'Who had the ocean whitefish and tua paté?'

'A bone is a bone is a bone...'

Fur Baby

"...do they teach manners at obedience school?"

Walking the dog - 'surprise'!

"I'm not his best friend. But he is in my extended network."

'We've tried everything else without success and have now made the decision to adopt.'

Cat Zoom Meeting

"Your motivation is that you're a dog and it's food."

"Back when we got him, Rufus was a child substitute. Now he's just a dog."

'Max and I have a give and take relationship. He sniffs my butt...and I let him.'

"Helen, Don, you're probably wondering why I called you here today. I'm afraid the answer is achingly simple: I can't get down."

"It's a good boy!"

When is he coming home buddy?

"Stop asking me. I don't know who's a good boy."

'I do not pamper the dog, now get out of his chair!'

Upper East Side Dog Park

Cat and owner sticking out tongues at each other.

"And they say WE have a shedding problem!"