Funny Reader Pillows

"And I'm not one of those people who likes their literature peppered with innuendo. I like it showered in it."

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

'Remember only you can prevent forest fires.'

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

"Ernestine is trying to get St. Patrick to change his mind."

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

X-ray Psychology.

The Salmon Run

"Yeah, I'm moonlighting. It's a living."

'See? The idiots put my danged knee replacement in backward!'

'Perkins, we're getting rid of some of the dead wood around here.'

Fish snorkling above water.

wattle covers

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

Muhammad Ali publishes a popup book.

'I think it's about time we tell him he's adopted.'

"My doctor said I'm not getting any younger. I'd like a second opinion."

A bird that is also the helmet from a suit of armour (or is it a bird inside a helmet?). Notice the very small flying bird/helmet in the background.

"The fourth horseman says that he will be late. He hasn't left the Old Testament yet."

"I'm excited to get fixed at the vet, had no idea I was broken."

Sign that says 'This is not a sign.'

The missiles had failed...so it was down to Frank...and plan B.

Musuem. Galileo did an experiment by dropping cannonballs from the Tower of Pisa. I wonder what he discovered? Personal injury lawsuits!

Mou...Man trap!

'Before we staqrt biting do you practice catch and release?'

'Says here you can tear phonebooks in half? Well, security could use a man like you in our shredding department!'

They soon changed their name..

'You'll love this, it has no nutritional value.'

'Think of it as a stimulus package, sir.'

"I just don't get it, they don't do it themselves, so why do they insist on us sitting before crossing the road?"

'Dad says I can't come out tonight. It's some sort of infield fly rule.'

Dante's Undiscovered Prequels

'I'm Bored'

'You can't call it a miracle drug just because you added miracle whip!'