Humor Readers Pillows

How to Meet Sluts.

'Do I have to fetch the newspaper? -- Ann Coulter always leaves a bad taste in my mouth!'

Empathy

Relationship counselor: 'She started behaving strangely, and our man-machine interface has become unpredictable.'

"It says: 'The teamwork that got you here is the real treasure.' Aww."

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

Apricots

All this pressure to be the perfect storm...

A man and his dog both reading.

'We loved this book. Twenty nine experts tell you how to think independently.'

Examination.

'Before we staqrt biting do you practice catch and release?'

"Hey team, meet our new V.P. of acquisitions and mergers." (businessman introducing a vicking, barbarian)

"No, I said to swab the deck!"

Warning! Stay off the biotech lawn.

'You can hit out of the trap or take a 2 stroke penalty.'

'Arnold, blow the whole depot, then hightail it out of here.'

'...and don't think I didn't see that flying tackle.'

"Stop smirking, it's just an expression! You know perfectly well what I mean when I say I'm putting my foot down and you can't go out tonight!"

"First of all, kudos on landing a corner office."

"Looks like you both suffer from IBS. You...irritable bowel. Your friend...irritable burl."

Book

'I sort of drifted into this...I always wanted to do children's gymkhanas.'

Declutter Your Life

'I'm afraid that driving the getaway car is more than just a driving offence, Mr. Jones.'

"Would you mind if my new friend Ted joins us?

"Yes, I know darling, getting a sore throat is bad: it really hurts to swallow..."

"Yuck! Som'one left their nose in this book!"

"In school I got punished for copying, yet now it's all I'm asked to do."

"Of course I'm self-absorbed. I'm a sponge!"

'If you must laugh, will you do it in the humour section please?'

'I perched on Blackbeard's shoulder for three years, then went to work for Long-John Silver...'