Funny Quitters Gifts

'I'll only have one pack of nicotene patches this week. My mate's supposed to be getting me some cheaper ones from abroad.'

"Its my letter of resignation. I also turned it into a memoir."

'It's a nicotine patch...I've been smoking too much.'

"I want to quit, spend more time with my family, finish grade 3....."

"Dear Diary... I've stopped smoking, and I'm sticking to my diet."

Nicotine Gum

Acupuncture - "So two hundred needles stuck into my fags will help me quit smoking, will it?"

'I'm worried. I gave up smoking without any trouble.'

"My chronic condition has been pestering me every single day for the past six months. I'm a lifelong quitter so its persistence is troubling me."

'There's something about being locked up with a 500lb gorilla, highly allergic to cigarette smoke, that works every time.'

'Hi John, it's your partner, Peter. I've decided to have a non-smokers day off - it should just make up for all the cigarette breaks you've taken in the last month!'

'It's a nicotine patch: I'm trying to quit smoking...'

'After you stop smoking you're supposed to eat more, not drink more.'

'Let's talk about the best way to use nicotine patches.'

'To show I'm serious about giving up smoking for new year, I'm going to sign this pledge.'

'Do the patches help?'

'Sorry, you can't smoke in the control group.'

Smoker's Lungs.

"This year, I resolve to give up smoking."

Captain Hook tries the cigarette patch.

You've been so grouchy since you quit smoking.

Man emphasizing that he has quit (colour)

'It's a nicotine patch: I'm trying to quit smoking...'

'I'm down to five a day with this new brand!'

Smoking Area

I'm very serious about quitting smoking, no ifs, ands or butts.

'No thanks, I've given up, I just come out for a bit of passive smoking...'

"Last cigarette? Sorry we don't encourage smoking."

Statistics show that more people give up smoking tomorrow than today.

'Beats me why anyone would want to sit inside on such a lovely day?'