Aspiring Quitters Gifts

"Dear Diary... I've stopped smoking, and I'm sticking to my diet."

"That's Brian Eggleston, de facto leader of the playground intelligentsia."

'It's a nicotine patch...I've been smoking too much.'

"I want to quit, spend more time with my family, finish grade 3....."

Nicotine Gum

'I'm worried. I gave up smoking without any trouble.'

"My chronic condition has been pestering me every single day for the past six months. I'm a lifelong quitter so its persistence is troubling me."

Letter of Resignation

'There's something about being locked up with a 500lb gorilla, highly allergic to cigarette smoke, that works every time.'

"Does it come in menthol?"

The Patch.

He had tried many ways to quit smoking but only one worked.

'I'll only have one pack of nicotene patches this week. My mate's supposed to be getting me some cheaper ones from abroad.'

'After you stop smoking you're supposed to eat more, not drink more.'

'To show I'm serious about giving up smoking for new year, I'm going to sign this pledge.'

'Sorry, you can't smoke in the control group.'

'Do the patches help?'

Smoker's Lungs.

"This year, I resolve to give up smoking."

I'm going to prescribe a nicotine patch. I want you to put it on your forehead so you'll stop thinking of smoking.

"Oh, I wanted to be so many things. Of course, being wrinkled was not one of them."

'No, I didn't start smoking again! That's chimney you smell!'

Captain Hook tries the cigarette patch.

You've been so grouchy since you quit smoking.

"Mr. Brown, my ship came in. I've decided to cruise right on out of here!"

Man emphasizing that he has quit (colour)

'It's a nicotine patch: I'm trying to quit smoking...'

You can't fire me, because I quit. In the words of Bob Dylan, "I ain't gonna work on Maggie's Farm no more." In the words of Ray Charles, "Hit the road, Jack."

Smoking Area

The Quitbit

I'm very serious about quitting smoking, no ifs, ands or butts.

'I guarantee THIS nicotine patch will work!'

When my ship came in it turned out to be a leaky oil tanker.

"Last cigarette? Sorry we don't encourage smoking."

'No thanks, I've given up, I just come out for a bit of passive smoking...'