Funny Marketer Gifts

Of course it's real spring water. I got it out of this hose last April!

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

"That's our new church mascot."

'This wasn't what I meant by viral marketing...but if you can get it to work.'

"We can succeed if our target audience is not made up of rational human beings."

Floss Street Vendor

"I've got a great idea! By adding the words "and associates" to my business name, no one will every suspect I'm really just one person with a phone and a web site working out of my bedroom!"

The marketing is out there now. People all know the pizzas are prepared on the premises. So why no customers?

These Sales Reps get more aggressive every year.

"Prospectus in not spelt P...R...O...A...G...A...N...D...A."

'But what do you sell?'

'I'm sending him out to drum up new business.'

Cold caller.

'The good news is consumer confidence is up. And the REALLY good news is consumer gullibility is Way up.'

'It's the philosophy of the company that truth in advertising begins at home.'

'Unethical advertising uses falsehoods to deceive the public. Ethical advertising uses the truth to deceive the public.'

"Love's OK, but there's no money in it. For the right price, I could help people fall in love with your products."

Child selling cold lemonade in the winter

'A free goldfish with every house you buy!'

"Monsieur Proust, we would like to discuss product placement for one of our cakes...."

A building covered in signs reading 'boats'.

'...hmm ...I predict an upturn in profits this year.'

'Great now put the company logo on the togas and make the building in back look like the Parthenon.'

Doomsday marketing

"Doesn't it seem like we just finished letting the air out of last year's tree?"

Sun Dried Ice Cubes

"Let's be honest here and admit we're targeting the 'stupid-with-their-money' demographic."

'Why don't we do what we always do when sales lag, write 'New and improved' on the box...'

'Now there goes a good Salesman...!'

Visit Santa today...sponsored by Acme Razor Company

Marv's Preowned Vehicles...That new car smell can kill you! - Buy Used!

'Sure, our expertise keeps ‘em here, but Mom's cookies get them through the door!'

"Can you believe they're watching the same back-to-school ad?"

"Childbirth just isn't keeping pace with modern marketing. We still don't come with a manufacturing warranty.

'How do we bake such delicious large muffins that have only 20 calories? Easy, false advertising.'