Marketing Humor Gifts

Experience the regional flavors of 2163 Pigeonhole Lane.

"This position has become very important to the company."

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

"Hold my calls, Kimberly. I'm with a ball of string."

"I hate performance review season."

"I'll show you our growth projections but only if you promise not to snicker."

"Quit stalling, Smithers. Where's the SALES chart?"

"How can you have a meteoric rise to the top in a one-story building?"

Not a surprise, coming from the new boss - who looks about 6 years old.

'I see everyone got the memo.'

'I delegate, then I follow up.'

'A High-pain job? Yes, I believe we have that.'

'Anyone who opposes the plan I'm about to propose please signify by saying 'I resign.''

"Stock options won't do it. I'll also need a ball of yarn."

Executive golf with Newton's cradle

'But this is what you demanded; a corner office with Windows.'

Now may not be a good time,he just found out he's not going to live forever.

"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."

'It's easy, Greg. Just get in touch with your inner regional sales manager.'

'Brains...brains...brains...'

Okay, start shouting them in for their annual bonuses.

"I didn't get where I am by trying to please."

'Here you are, Simmons!'

Help wanted. Various positions available.

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

'Well I've finished the project on time and on budget!' 'Oh, that means I've given you too much time and too much money!'

"Our long-term plan is like our short-term plan, only longer."

Looks like another profit's warning

"Don't tell me you're not hungover, it's nine a.m. and you just clocked out."

Blowing dust off an order book.

'Time management seminar. Start: five-ish.'