Promotion Humor Gifts

'Allow me to be the first to congratulate you on your sudden promotion.'

"This position has become very important to the company."

'How fast can you hype?'

"Hold my calls, Kimberly. I'm with a ball of string."

He was destined for greatness. Whatever that meant.

"I hate performance review season."

"How can you have a meteoric rise to the top in a one-story building?"

'I delegate, then I follow up.'

Executive golf with Newton's cradle

"He wants to study bacteria to relate to the counter culture."

"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."

'Here you are, Simmons!'

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

"That's more like it Perkins..!!"

'Kroogshank, why do I think that you try to hide from responsibility?'

"There's another one of those blokes that work from home."

"2 for 1 special: Clean, polish, buff, seal"

"Dammit, Higgins, we don't need simple explanations, we need complicated excuses!"

'Any chance of doubling my salary?'

"I think he said he wants to buy 'just the one'. You'd better fetch the manager"

"Excellent Simons, I admire a 'yes' man who's not afraid to say 'yes'."

'When I say jump, Hayes, I don't want you to just ask 'How high?' ... I want you to show me!'

'Our company needs a tougher image. So from here on out we'll answer the phone with the greeting, 'what the hell do you want?!'

Job complaints on road signs.

"I swear, Bob, if you say "I'll think about it and circle back to you" one more time...X"

"It's my conscience... It's all achy"

These Sales Reps get more aggressive every year.

'Instead of jail time, our head of finance chose the stock option.'

'I've been made junior partner.'

"We couldn't give you a bigger office, so we shrunk everything down to make it appear bigger."

B2B.Com Pay Per View.

"It's not a real company, it's a shell company."

"You'll get an office, a pay increase and a set of bad nicknames from your colleagues."

Tell me, how do you fit into the scheme of things here?