Funny Maniac Gifts

'So one day I thought, I'll teach you brats to laugh at me!'

Showbiz Awards

Ernie Studios. Hi, Ernie. What movies are you working on? We have a script about astronauts marooned on a planet filed with talking gorillas who are in hard economic times. I think I'll call it "The Apes of Wrath"! We're casting "Reignman." The central character is a savant monarch. And we're filming a movie about a suburban town populated by women with strange, long hair ... It's called "The Stepford Weaves."

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Part Eighteen

E-vac-u-ate! E-vac-u-ate! . . . I've just farted. . ."

"Ma, what does 'kosher' mean?"

'After hours of rehearsing together, little Judy Barlow is going to play 'Three Blind Mice' while her father screams, 'Keep that racket down, will ya?''

"If I knew when this was going to end, it wouldn't be so stressful."

Big Fish Little Fish Cardboard Box.

Curse or not, Dave had to pass this exam.

The Work-from-Home-Polka

'We come in peace. Unless, of course, you have stuff that we want.'

Fuzz - Fuzzy says 'let me hear you say yeah!'

"Wow! - Do all Earth people look as tasty as YOU do?"

"Hang on - I'm not as young as I used to be. . .!"

Oblivious at 20,000 Feet

"This invasion is gonna be a piece of cake. Look, they're already surrendering."

2001: A Space Odyssey - Updated

Rock & Roll

Music Freak.

John Laurie

Love Hurts

'Behold! The curse of the pharaoh!'

"You'll do laundry, you'll drink water...oh, and what's this? In the near future you'll clip your fingernails."

Lox Ness Monster

'Oh mate, I can't wait for the zombie apocalypse!'

Jeffrey Tambor

cat singing into microphone

"Well, buddy....a lot of people are missing that. Just look at the social media comments."

'And then when I push this button it magnetizes the ions and...'

Mummies busking.

Ancient Egyptian Curser

'What do you call a vampire that you can dip into your tea?...Count Dunkula!'

Mummy is alive at an Egyptian exhibit at a museum.