Funny Homebody Juxtaposer Gifts

"Boy, am I glad I'm out on this expedition! If I were home, my wife would have me working in the yard!"

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

'Homepage Sweet Homepage'

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

Man: 'How cute. He must like the movement.' Cat: 'There are some challenging themes here but little or no dramatic resonance.'

"I see you've security marked your property."

'She'll never look for me here.'

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."

'It's time to move out when Mom says...'

It's Your Turn to Do the Dishes Tonight!

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

'What about you...you've been living here thirty years too?'

Man fishing in goldfish bowl - "Its always been the same with you Norman.. No ambition."

"I'd hold off on the peking duck another five minutes...the show's almost over."

'Home is where I hang my bat.'

"There goes our early night."

"Just the slippers is fine!"

Amy Sedaris

The Drawbacks Of Working From Home

"5...4...3...2..."

"Darling! We've become armchair socialites."

"Arthur, the bird's gone and done it again."

"You're back. Hold on … just give me a minute."

Suggestion and 'outside-the-box' suggestions.

"I'm upstairs right now. On weekends and holidays, I go downstairs."

octopus knitting a jumper...

"That's it sorted then - this year we'll spend a fortnight in the spare bedroom."

"My great-uncle Octavio always wore his hat in the house. That way, if bad company knocked on the door, he could say he was just leaving."

The bulb family leaves for vacation

"No religious nuts!"

"What?"

Suburban street.