Homebody Humorists Gifts

"What did I miss?"

"Trust me — we’re better off in here."

"Greeting the day with a fart has never felt more appropriate."

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

Moses separating his Laundry.

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

The secret of living happily ever after....Do it alone.

"Well, the remote's not dowmn the back of the couch."

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

Good News about winter

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

"He's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes...like a DOLL'S EYES!!"

'Do you realize that we're sitting in a prefabricated house, eating precooked dinners, and listening to Chris Matthews' opinions?'

'Betty liked the way her house provided lots of private space.'

Self-Isolating. Do Not Disturb (Except For Food).

"Take me to your Larder!"

Man: 'How cute. He must like the movement.' Cat: 'There are some challenging themes here but little or no dramatic resonance.'

Big screen TV.

Love is when you watch television together.

"Ooooooh, just what I wanted!"

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."

'She'll never look for me here.'

"It's me. I'm calling in sick of it."

"On New Year's Eve, Clement and I stayed up all night drinking. Tea, of course."

'Mongrel' 'Bitch's' - His and Hers towels for Dogs.

'It's time to move out when Mom says...'

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

Electric Blanket.

It's Your Turn to Do the Dishes Tonight!

'It's O.K. Charlie - you can relax. The T.V. repairman said, 'it can be fixed!''

Sheltering in place.

'I considered running away, but since I'll probably be living at home until I'm 38, it's a bad career move.'

"Would you like to sleep through the film or the variety show?"

Contented man and cat sleeping