Homebody Comedian Gifts

'Your son, running screaming from the real world, is home.'

Amy Sedaris

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

Moses separating his Laundry.

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

The secret of living happily ever after....Do it alone.

"Well, the remote's not dowmn the back of the couch."

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

Good News about winter

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

Man: 'How cute. He must like the movement.' Cat: 'There are some challenging themes here but little or no dramatic resonance.'

"Take me to your Larder!"

Self-Isolating. Do Not Disturb (Except For Food).

'Do you realize that we're sitting in a prefabricated house, eating precooked dinners, and listening to Chris Matthews' opinions?'

'Betty liked the way her house provided lots of private space.'

"He's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes...like a DOLL'S EYES!!"

Big screen TV.

"On New Year's Eve, Clement and I stayed up all night drinking. Tea, of course."

Love is when you watch television together.

"It's me. I'm calling in sick of it."

'Mongrel' 'Bitch's' - His and Hers towels for Dogs.

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."

'She'll never look for me here.'

"Ooooooh, just what I wanted!"

'It's time to move out when Mom says...'

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

It's Your Turn to Do the Dishes Tonight!

'It's O.K. Charlie - you can relax. The T.V. repairman said, 'it can be fixed!''

Electric Blanket.

'I considered running away, but since I'll probably be living at home until I'm 38, it's a bad career move.'

"I'm sick of watching the same movie every day."

'Honey, I'm home - for good.'

"You are still here."

"Why do they call what we're wearing 'sweats'?"