Funny Glasses Wearer Gifts

'Time you got those glasses changed Fred. . .'

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

'No. The television screen hasn't gone red - You've got tomato ketchup all over your glasses!'

They get into debt so fast these days...

"I think you've overfed the plant!"

Cat on Computer Keyboard.

"... Er, Houston... It would appear that there is life on Mars, after all!"

'Don't worry...you'll grow into them.'

'A free goldfish with every house you buy!'

'Yes I can talk, can you fly?'

Lost and Found - 'Nothing yet.' (Zebra has lots its stripes).

Hissy-fits for sale.

"I'm going to have to ask you to accompany me to the Police Station!"

"How did I never notice before, Peter! Without your glasses you look just like Spider-Man!"

'I think the eye doctor got my prescription glasses mixed up with somebody else's.'

Priest getting stained glass glasses.

'You're not from around here, are you?'

Beard, socks and sandals.

Evil Pusskins #9

"Now these prescription glasses are popular with our clients who like to be stylish yet lay low."

'Dr. Nackschmerz has a very logical mind.' - 'Yes - in contrast to his body.'

'He was a lousy watch dog until we realized he was near sighted.'

Beer Belly/Vodka Elbow

'My eyesight was getting worse, but thanks to my new glasses, I can play 'Monkey see, Monkey do' again...'

'No thanks, just squinting.'

Contacts vs. Glasses

Father Goldfish: 'One day Son, this will all be yours.'

'Wow! He must really work out!'

'She tried diet after diet - the, at last, we hit on something that works . . .'

Policeman charges tortoise for impersonation.

What are you looking at? Haven't you ever seen a man ordering coffee before? Best. Dad. Ever. I'll also have a raspberry muffin. What? Reason #7 not to have kids.

Horse costume.

Short sighted pirates being turned away from a Pilates class.

'I'd like to buy a vowel.'

"It's four pounds a night, and one hour treadmill time..."