Quirky Glasses Collector Gifts

'Nobody takes me seriously.'

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

Larry's used art

Seagiraffes

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

'A cheeky red?'

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

Toadstools

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

Raincloud Umbrella

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

"Sorry. I just find rotating my head helps me to relax during the test."

Duck Hunt

Piranhaclaus

Thinks he's too cool for school.

Cheeze Wiz.

Early cyborg.

Ralph spent his Sundays in the park gathering nuts.

"I don't know about you, but it always makes me feel kinda special."

Bottle Bank: For the Colour Blind.

Emergency Hipster Beard

Tommy Cooper at the bottle bank - Glass, Bottle, Bottle, Glass..

Best before 65 million BC.

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

'Powdery stuff? Oh, that's egg substitute, from the Vegan lobby.'

"Dear? The toothpaste is on the top shelf. Don't touch the tube on the bottom shelf, that's Grandma's triple strength epoxy denture adhesive."

Ice shelfie.

"Oh, I'm thrilled with my new dog! He's sort of a hunter/retriever/plumber/electrician."

"Now, why didn't I think of that?"

A man walks his dog wearing a cone.

"I don't think our smart home likes the color we painted it. It keeps spitting it out."

'Anorak anoraks'.

A trevor of trainspotters

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.