Funny Event Goer Gifts

"So this is the badminton horse trials"

Dinner at the Trapdoors

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

Shakespeare in the Park: "To pee, or not to pee..."

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

"Great news, I've booked you two stag nights, a hen party and fourteen solemn thanksgiving services for members of the theatrical profession"

Nothing puts the flavor in a hot dog like a sports event.

'Costume - What costume?'

'Marcy, Ted - so glad you could come! Let me direct you upstairs to the overflow room.'

"Your party just totally blew us away."

Little guy using telescope to see past a big guy blocking his view in the crowd,

"It's not the tossing, it's the catching of the caber that separates the men from the boys."

Annual Lump Festival Competition:'I don't know if I can give an award, they're all so fantastic..'

Upbeat conversation/downbeat conversation.

'I'm afraid we had to cancel the 'perfect planning' seminar. By the time we got around to booking the hotel was full and speaker we hoped to use died in 1967...'

Non-Jewish Events and Jewish Events

"I couldn't find the giant scissors."

'This is Hargreaves - he's in charge of corporate hospitality.'

"I'm excited to leave this party we're going to."

Man leaves stretch limousine in a stretch wheelchair.

Crater Lake Annual Yogurt Guzzle! This year's flavor: Raspberry Marijuana.

"And the award goes to...but then again, why bother?"

Memorials of The Great Exhibition - 1851. No. VII. - Hotels are quite full.

'Convention Centre...Coming Soon - Psychic Fair.' "I knew that."

A sign in the front window of a bookstore says "Meet the Pope 2 p.m."

'There is always the chance that you won't be invited.'

'She's just ring through - held up at the hairdressers.'

Little guy using telescope to see past a big guy blocking his view in the crowd,

'Watkins you remember I said be prepared for the unexpected.'

'Does anyone have a light, please?