Funny Event Goer T-Shirts

"So this is the badminton horse trials"

Dinner at the Trapdoors

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

All dressed up and no place to go

"Great news, I've booked you two stag nights, a hen party and fourteen solemn thanksgiving services for members of the theatrical profession"

Shakespeare in the Park: "To pee, or not to pee..."

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

"Another helping of pretentiousness, anyone?"

Nothing puts the flavor in a hot dog like a sports event.

'Costume - What costume?'

"I know I was ecstatic to get tickets for Glastonbury - it's just that now I realise I have to go."

'Marcy, Ted - so glad you could come! Let me direct you upstairs to the overflow room.'

"I've done nothing Instagrammable for months."

"Your party just totally blew us away."

Little guy using telescope to see past a big guy blocking his view in the crowd,

Only horse I know that likes to start out of the crouch. 6 3.

Non-Jewish Events and Jewish Events

Upbeat conversation/downbeat conversation.

Annual Lump Festival Competition:'I don't know if I can give an award, they're all so fantastic..'

'I'm afraid we had to cancel the 'perfect planning' seminar. By the time we got around to booking the hotel was full and speaker we hoped to use died in 1967...'

"It's not the tossing, it's the catching of the caber that separates the men from the boys."

"I couldn't find the giant scissors."

'This is Hargreaves - he's in charge of corporate hospitality.'

"I'm excited to leave this party we're going to."

It was the bottom of the ninth and the bassists were loaded. O

Man leaves stretch limousine in a stretch wheelchair.

'She's just ring through - held up at the hairdressers.'

Memorials of The Great Exhibition - 1851. No. VII. - Hotels are quite full.

'There is always the chance that you won't be invited.'

A sign in the front window of a bookstore says "Meet the Pope 2 p.m."

'Convention Centre...Coming Soon - Psychic Fair.' "I knew that."

"And the award goes to...but then again, why bother?"

Crater Lake Annual Yogurt Guzzle! This year's flavor: Raspberry Marijuana.

Little guy using telescope to see past a big guy blocking his view in the crowd,

'Does anyone have a light, please?