Funny Date Pillows

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

'That's one hell of a cat-flap Harry. You must have a big cat, heh, heh.'

"I feel like I'm cosplaying as a salad bar."

Paul knew he looked great in pastels.

"It's not your phone service... you're talking into a spring roll."

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

"Where did you say you went to culinary school?"

'May I recommend a dry white with the seafood dish.'

"it's just... we're too lazy to have any of our own."

"You need a mint."

Dating in Oz

"I am off duty, but the body cam allows me to discreetly take photos of my meal."

'I was not expecting this, were you?'

"Madeleine is always losing her contact lenses"

"We have met today because you, Cynthia, and you, Kevin, now want to look together for a scapegoat to blame for your stupidity, your laziness, your total failure, and for your antisocial behaviour."

'Didn't we fly over this hill ten minutes ago?'

Our body parts

'Don't look now Muriel. But that Polyphemus guy has been giving you the eye all night.'

Dear Diary....I'll never, ever, go on a blind date again!

'I'm sorry, but I don't know where 'this is'. I, too, am a stranger here.'

Relate - man acts the clown to show fun still in marriage

"Thank you for the lovely dinner, Perry. Would you like to come in for a stool softener?"

"The airline's in trouble, isn't it?"

"Suddenly I can't think of anything to chirp."

'Great job! -- Take the rest of the day off!'

I brought a little ice breaker.'

'What exactly is this darling, in case I have to describe to later to a doctor?'

'The dating agency matched me up with my avatar.'

"That's not fair!"

"What I don't like about the military is all the emphasis on winning."

'Is this your son? We need to talk!'

"I think I'll start with the fly soup."

'The Frog prince makes his move'

"We don't stand behind our service, but we do offer a free All-You-Can-Eat salad bar while you wait."