Funny Business Moments Lover Gifts

"Besides running office pools, taking up office collections and being the office party coordinator, do you have any other work experience?"

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"This position has become very important to the company."

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

Spot the difference.

"If we can just get beyond this 'I'm the boss' mentality and concentrate on a simple 'What I say goes' outlook, I think this will all work out."

Sign - Halt manager crossing

"It's a letter from the Vatican. They say that whilst walking the streets without stepping into dog poo is nearly as miraculous as walking on water, it's not sufficient to canonize me!"

"Hold my calls, Kimberly. I'm with a ball of string."

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

"No training period, but you can purchase my instructional video on line for $49.95."

"I hate performance review season."

'We haven't improved quality, but we've made it easier to return.'

"Imagine if only 1/2 the companies that claimed to have a great culture actually did."

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

'An exxpert team set up a team of special consultants, that then set up a committee whose members asked their 7 year old kids. Now 14 months later they've concluded we're not efficient enough.'

'Our problem is how to lower quality while raising prices...'

"It lost a little something in translation."

"Has anyone mentioned that you're management now, …… You don't get overtime."

"How can you have a meteoric rise to the top in a one-story building?"

'I delegate, then I follow up.'

'We're all right as long as they think we're taking millions.'

'He bowed lower for me than for you.'

Executive golf with Newton's cradle

'Now, remember...let me do the talking.'

"That's a very difficult problem to address, Ted, could you restate it as a solution?"

"I know we're not lions, but let's call ourselves a pride anyway."

'Now, if you would all put on your glasses, we'll get a glimpse of our profits in 3D.'

'Productivity is up. Lay off a couple of more employees.'

Economy Slows: 'It's still too fast for me.'

'If we hadn't outsourced the staff, we could've eaten them.'

"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."

Re-Tooling Costs - "Could you be a little more precise than umpteen million?"

'Here you are, Simmons!'