Funny Bone Foodie Pillows

"If I'd wanted a Picasso I'd have gone to an art gallery, wouldn't I?"

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

Skeleton playing fetch.

"So...what are you doing after you graduate?"

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

'I'm looking fo someone who can make me laugh.'

"Waiter, there's a weapon of mass destruction in my soup!"

A Club Sandwitch.

'How could you flunk stone shop?'

"Yo - I'm way overdone in here!"

"So when my dad said I couldn't have a dog..."

"Dear, did something happen at the office?"

"Hurry, stop him!" (Dog running off with bone from man's x-ray).

Evolution Interrupted By Man Fishing

'You're supposed to just lick the cone!'

'I did my research paper on Bart Simpson!'

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

"I hear you've a complaint about the eggs..."

"... And don't come back until you're ready to get funny."

Heimlich maneuver, Gastric bypass surgery, Liver transplant.

"She's losing a lot of cream cheese. We're going to have to cut her open."

Excess Baggage: Some folks believe that calories consumed during vacation do not count against your diet.

Cut out and keep your own Gardener!

'And then as the young rat turned around, he realized he was in the junior high, block one dissection class!'

'House wine?'

"Hi, Honey. For dinner we're having Shis Kabob."

"No. I wouldn't 'like to see the cheese menu'. And I don't appreciate the stereotyping!"

"Will you be ordering A La Carte, or heading straight over to the trough?"

'Ha, ha! But seriously folks...'

"How do you prepare the chicken?"

"Oooh... bacon!"

What makes the flies in your soup "artisanal"? I know, right? Personally, I think it's just a lot of hype perpetrated by the flies. Menu.

'Turns out medicine is the best medicine.'

Fetch the Boomerang