Funeral Studies Gifts

'She was always very proud of her figure.'

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

"All we have left is standing room only."

He looks so natural lying there...

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

'He loved that dog.'

"We are gathered here to morn the passing of Bob Opossum."

'He was a great writer'

"It is now that moment when a close family member tries to speak of the deceased without choking up."

'What - no internet? No USB ports? No socket for the coffee machine? No phone? Are you crazy? My husband was a very important CEO!'

"Promise me that if I die first you won't eat me."

It is believed dear Jack finally figured out women. Trouble is, he died laughing before he could tell anybody.

Life after death

Amy Winehouse, up in Rock N' Roll heaven.

'Yes, death signifies a cosmic change of address. Alas, your husband's mail will not be forwarded.'

"I guess laughter wasn’t the best medicine."

Life and Death

"Personally, I of course loved Uncle Clarence, but Mr. Quibbles wants to say a few things."

'Harry! - If you can hear me - what did you do with the remote!?'

2pm meet your Creator

A man in a little rowboat goes to his grave.

'There's a little bit of my late husband in every glass - I used his ashes as a fining agent.'

Ventriloquist Grave

Cricketer's funeral

'He never listened to his mother!'

'He's a conspiracy theorist - he refuses to believe that Great Aunt Mildred is really dead.'

'At least they did a good job on him.'

'While I'm here, what are your favourite hymns?'

"I feel terrible admitting this, but I'm sort of glad he's dead. One less thing to keep track of."

St Peter: 'The bike can stay. You, on the other hand, aren't on the list.'

"Given a choice, would you prefer to be buried, cremated or converted to fossil fuel?"

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'