Funeral Planner Humor Pillows

"He's in a better place now-no offense to Buffalo."

"Who'd have thought old Harry would turn out to be a vampire?"

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

"Hope you don't mind—it was his last request."

Dead Man's Handel

"When I die, I'd like to die having sex..."

"As always he found a way to duck out of working overtime!"

A signaller directing pallbearers

'He was a shooting star, passing through the firmament. Lighting up our dull lives with his all too brief presence.' 'I think we're at the wrong funeral.'

"Well he was there a minute ago!"

Priest gives the last rites to an expired metre.

"His last wish was that we delete his browsing history."

Fisherman Funneral

"He was right about saving that box. It did come in handy."

'She was always very proud of her figure.'

Bug Funerals

'He arranged it himself. Let's face it he really was the skinflint's skinflint...'

"I think it's important to remember that he isn't gone forever. He's still alive. He just played a character on TV who died."

"We will now observe a moment of silently checking our BlackBerrys."

Bugs hold a candle-light vigil for fallen comrade while the old man responsible for his death is unrepentant.

'Why is he always hanging around?'

'There's no talking to him when he's like this.'

O'Leary's Monuments

RIP...snores are coming from the grave.

'When you said we were planting a bug, this isn't what I thought you had in mind."

"What what of all the dates I couldn't save, Jimmy."

"Pleasant Hill Funeral Home. Free Wi-Fi."

"When Kevin walked into a room, he lit it up."

"He will be remembered by his Google Assistant."

'I thought new home prices had fallen.'

'I think he would have been pleased to know that I got his entire record breaking bungee jump on video.'

"Hell of a way to end the summer."

'I'd always hoped that I'd leave this mortal coil surrounded by my beautiful, loving family,,, so can some of you ugly ones move to the back'

'We're not here to mourn, but to celebrate, because frankly, no-one is sorry to see him go...'

'You're sure that's one of the stages of grief?'