Funding Hopeful Gifts

'We're putting off the decision to fund you for at least another month. . .'

"Someday my grant will come."

Molecular Biology and Cosmology buildings

'You really want that promotion, don't you, Sherman?'

"So...what are you doing after you graduate?"

"When I grow up, I want to go into medicine and help people who can pay out of pocket."

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

'As a famous writer, could you do something to help jumpstart my career?'

"If you saw a book with the title 'An American Speaks Out,' would you buy it?"

'I became successful when my dreams changed from the Cary Grants of the world to federal grants.'

The novel was printed and in the stores ... any minute now, the world would beat down his door.

"Congratulations Professor, the committee 'okayed' your grant request."

Pinara fund

'Agreed. We fund only those proposals we can understand.'

Great moments in science. . . 'Nice work, you've isolated the funding gene.'

Damn. Out of quarters again for the Pay Electron Microscope.

"I'm not going to shoot the messenger, but I'm also not going to renew his grant."

"I'm sorry, but you'll have to get approval from the offices of Terminology, Evidence, Proof of Demand, Documentation, Measurement and Predictions before I can even think about signing off."

'I bought winter tyres and it didn't snow.'

I have a dream.

"The nonprofit competitive grant season begins

"Your entire business plan is to get a loan from me?"

"To me..It says Art Council crap regional funding"

"...I want to find out whether there's any truth in the belief that money can't buy happiness."

'Agreed, 'Laplace Algebra Matrix Expansion' is a good topic, but we'd better find a better acronym if we want to secure a Research Grant...'

'Look on the bright side - Our investments with Bernie Madoff must REALLY be paying off by now!'

Dummy. Now we have to apply for another grant.

'Don't jump. It's a book publisher!'

Grants Office Scientific Research Section.

We're working on a cure for funding cuts.

'Hold everything! -- The National Endowment for the Arts changed its mind!'

"Crowd-funding's fantastic but the crowd-thanking is a real drag."

"Defunding increases aggression."

Made Possible By A Grant...

"Formula for the new product?" "No, that's our grant going down the drain!"