Fun Story Lover Pillows

"You're probably wondering how I got the nick name, kill-bot. Well, it's a funny story. . ."

"Gracie, I don't know any jokes...but I know funny stories!"

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

On holiday.

The Fourth Little Pig

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

It's not because I'm nervous. The reason I'm not eating is because I really do have butterflies in my stomach.

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

The tooth fairy.

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

Pinocchio's nose used by cat as a scratching post

Fairy Library - Frontispiece to Jack and the Beanstalk

Dick was the kind of guy who wanted everyone to know it was his birthday.

Early photobombing

"Anna - there's someone I'd like to meet."

Kid to mom: 'Tell me again about the time you helped fortress a city, subdue hostile fire and got home and baked us all raspberry strudels.'

"Actually, I'm really looking for blessings that aren't in disguise"

'He took from the rich and gave to the poor? It sounds like wealth redistribution.'

'Hang on a minute: You're not going to transform into a Prince and leave me heartbroken, are you?!'

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

Candid Camera store.

"Hawaiian hitchhiker."

"Say hello to my little friend."

'If I told you what I wished for, you'd probably slap me.'

Karataoke

Old Mother Goose Nursery Rhymes

"I just never 'think I can' anymore."

Cats at private view

"I'm trying to forget a pussycat."

Man see a sign on door of Clayton's Jokes & Gags Shopee - 'Please Use Second Door To The Right'

"I liked the fee-fi-fo-fum part, but I found the rest of his speech racist and repellent."

The candy house, if the tale of Hansel and Gretel would happen today.

"Go figure: nobody wanted to kiss me when I was an ugly prince, but now, somehow, pretty girls are lining up!"

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."