Fun Story Lover Pillows

"You're probably wondering how I got the nick name, kill-bot. Well, it's a funny story. . ."

"Gracie, I don't know any jokes...but I know funny stories!"

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

On holiday.

The Fourth Little Pig

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

It's not because I'm nervous. The reason I'm not eating is because I really do have butterflies in my stomach.

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

The tooth fairy.

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

Fairy Library - Frontispiece to Jack and the Beanstalk

Dick was the kind of guy who wanted everyone to know it was his birthday.

Early photobombing

"Anna - there's someone I'd like to meet."

Kid to mom: 'Tell me again about the time you helped fortress a city, subdue hostile fire and got home and baked us all raspberry strudels.'

"Actually, I'm really looking for blessings that aren't in disguise"

Candid Camera store.

"Hawaiian hitchhiker."

"Say hello to my little friend."

'If I told you what I wished for, you'd probably slap me.'

'He took from the rich and gave to the poor? It sounds like wealth redistribution.'

'Hang on a minute: You're not going to transform into a Prince and leave me heartbroken, are you?!'

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

Old Mother Goose Nursery Rhymes

"That dream catcher may be working a little too well."

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

Cats at private view

Man see a sign on door of Clayton's Jokes & Gags Shopee - 'Please Use Second Door To The Right'

"Go figure: nobody wanted to kiss me when I was an ugly prince, but now, somehow, pretty girls are lining up!"

"I liked the fee-fi-fo-fum part, but I found the rest of his speech racist and repellent."

"I'm trying to forget a pussycat."

The candy house, if the tale of Hansel and Gretel would happen today.