Family Story Lover Pillows

'Oh my, it's my sister's address! I'm delivering my own nephew!'

"My Mother's Ingrown Toenail" a saga in three parts, hour one.

Mum, I don't care what these nasty kids say about my brothers Romulus and remus being adopted: I love them all the same...

'It's time you knew the truth. You're not my real son. You're a novelization.'

'And to his son, he has left his Leprosy.'

"I have my mother's eyes...my dad's nose...Abuelito's hair...and my great aunt's teeth. Just my luck to be stuck with my own brain."

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

True confessions.

'It's really more of a family forest than a family tree.'

"The document states that you've been left your mother's jowls and upper arm flab."

Kid to mom: 'Tell me again about the time you helped fortress a city, subdue hostile fire and got home and baked us all raspberry strudels.'

"Finally, the alphabet is paying off."

"No, son, you’re not ‘M for Mature.’"

Children's Party

"When I was young my parents couldn't afford to give me too much, too soon."

"That dream catcher may be working a little too well."

"I'm trying to forget a pussycat."

"It seems like only yesterday that Dad told me I'll be an adult before I know it."

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

'Riley, I think it's time you learned the truth... You're adopted.'

Toys were me: lessons learned never growing up

"Oh, she talk a lot...but only about her children."

Fyodor Dostoevsky

"Tell us the one about swift justice, Grandpa."

Jacques et Jille

'You were a band geek?! Maybe Max will play an instrument!'

"Now here's a tale that'll make you hair stand on end"

Wyatt returns home to visit his old small town.

'It is a big day! Ten years ago, yout dad joined the union!'

"Grandpa, how did you ever survive without apps?"

Alice in Wonderland - The Pig Baby.

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

"But our history was current events when you were at school Dad!"

"See those birch trees on the other side of the pond? That’s the exact spot where your mother first called me an idiot."

"We're not laughing at you, sweetie. We're laughing at something you don't understand."