Family Story Enthusiasts Pillows

'When my folks left for the evening, my little sister was always in charge...'

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

"Just kick back and enjoy this. These are the nest years of our lives!"

"The document states that you've been left your mother's jowls and upper arm flab."

'He took from the rich and gave to the poor? It sounds like wealth redistribution.'

"Mommy usually reads me a story, then slips me a twenty."

'Bedtime stories at the Browns'.'

'I never saw a tracer bullet that I didn't admire for color, clarity and swiftness.'

'It's time you knew the truth. You're not my real son. You're a novelization.'

"Oh, you haven’t seen holiday drama ‘till you’ve met our little family."

The Book Club

Newborn making the V-sign

Big book of memes

"A beautiful baby. Who does he take after?"

"When my Tia Maggie got married, she wanted 8 kids...and her husband wanted 2 kids."

Mrs Smith and her daughter - now and 40 years later...

Ode to Rip Van Winkle.

"Grandma, somebody wants to talk to you, but I can't get your phone off this cord."

'Oh my, it's my sister's address! I'm delivering my own nephew!'

'The prince and the princess lived happily ever after on their profits from capital-appreciation funds.'

'My teacher has a good memory. She remembers what a rotten kid you were.'

'Dad, I know you're busy, but how much time do you save reading me Reader's Digest Condensed version of The Cat in the Hat.'

'Bad news I'm afraid...You've got the worst inheritence for a generation.'

"I don't know about you but I can't wait to get back to our book club!"

Humpty dumpty, the wall and the banana peel.

"And then all the kibble fell overboard and nothing was left but kale..."

"We learn an important lesson from all this - from curds and whey, and pease porridge, and bread and honey. Eat natural foods."

Serf faints as apple is shot from his head by an arrow.

'I have a rasp in my throat.'

"That's your uncle Colin. He's the black sheep of the family."

Marthra

'I don't know Robin. My life is good, I eat well, I sleep at night, but I keep asking myself - am I really merry?'

'Nice try, Chicken Little. We're not falling for that one again.'

"Who called who never calls" "What's in the freezer? It's half a loaf of rye bread" "Fun quiz! When are you getting married? Page 12." "Top ten pieces of furniture to wrap in plastic"

'He knows how to be a grandchild but I don't know how to be a grandfather.'