Fun In Grey Years Pillows

"What the hell - a second adolescence is better than a second childhood."

"We haven't danced in ages."

Older lady to husband surrounded by dogs: 'Still getting feedback from your hearing aid?'

'...makes a change from the zimmer frames!'

'There is a fancy name for your condition...Let's just call it 86 and counting.'

"I look forward to growing dead with you."

'Gotta hang up now. My mom wants to recycle the phone.'

'Admit it, George-you're too old to chase after does.'

Hospital: Senior Care/Long Term Care/Who Cares

"I'm so old I can't remember who's the smart one and who's the pretty one."

"Last one to the top's a geriatric."

Life begins at 60

Bad times for retirees.

"Dear, I'm at that age where things are finally starting to click for me!"

"His hip isn't getting any better. I really should have him put to sleep."

'You keep asking me to change when I can't remember what from.'

Pension Forecasts

"It might sound silly, but I don't think this job is good for my diet."

"You're going to do time, but I'm trying to get it in dog years."

"What particle collider physicists do in their spare time"

"There's more to being a pensions adviser than just handling the figures..."

"You know you're old when you have to warm up just to take out the garbage."

'Hot dang! Ethel, check out Raymond's new twenty-twos!'

"I told you they'd chuck us off the bus with those smelly egg butties."

"Agnes is so crushing on him."

'The last time he jogged past the cemetery, the gravediggers tried to bury him'

Teddy organ grinder

"Dude has got his s**t together!"

"To assume Leonard has a bucket list, you have to first assume he actually wants to do anything."

'The sixties? Well, you don't sleep as well, can't read anything closer than three feet away and your short-term memory's shot.'

"Well, kids, mom and I finally bought a condo on a golf course!"