Silver Years Supporter Pillows

Hospital: Senior Care/Long Term Care/Who Cares

"I came here to get in shape, young man! What does me picking up your bar bill have to do with it?"

'You seem quieter tonight. Did they give you something to help you relax?'

"I noticed a few browns."

"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"

"I'm pretty sure the middle-aged upper-arm jiggle is the one thing there's not a niche market for."

"I look forward to growing dead with you."

'Listen Mabel, you are 70, I am 75 and we have known each other since junior school. It's pure wishful thinking on your part if you claim I am 'grooming' you...'

Gerontologist on the phone - 'Oh, you know ... same old, same old ... and how are things with you?'

Bed Sores and Breakfast - Palliative care.

Aging Sign # 23: you're dehydrated and yet up peeing all night.

Silver Sufferer - husband looking at steam trains on the internet, wife bored in background

"I want someone I can grow old and have plastic surgery with."

Antique silver

'Admit it, George-you're too old to chase after does.'

"I'm so old I can't remember who's the smart one and who's the pretty one."

Life begins at 60

Bad times for retirees.

"Marie, are you still driving?"

'You keep asking me to change when I can't remember what from.'

"I increase my small pension by working as an expert on selling anti-incontinence products!"

"His hip isn't getting any better. I really should have him put to sleep."

Antiques roadshow: 'Yes it's definitely Silver'

'Your mother has finally found a home she wants us to put her in...ours.'

"There's more to being a pensions adviser than just handling the figures..."

"You know you're old when you have to warm up just to take out the garbage."

"Agnes is so crushing on him."

"What the hell - a second adolescence is better than a second childhood."

"Dude has got his s**t together!"

'He's our new Geriatric specialist!'

"That's right, sir, you did book a table for four but you didn't say anything about chairs."

'The sixties? Well, you don't sleep as well, can't read anything closer than three feet away and your short-term memory's shot.'