Fun-averse Traveler Gifts

Someone is always trying to force me to have more fun in my life phobia: 'Can you recommend someplace where nothing is expected of us? Wilbur can't stand pleasure of any sort.'

The Vineyard

Easter Island legs

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

Tourists in Egypt

'This is where we go to get away from it all. . . except for Stanley's money.'

Excess Baggage: By the time the male of the species admits he is lost. It is generally too late.

"I'm sorry- I can barely hear you with this goddam ocean behind me."

"Make a sandcastle with you? Of course darling. What about Thursday 3.15pm?"

'Sure, sure - I'm having a great vacation.'

'We have a clerical special to St Croix amd St Thomas...'

The US election is over.

"For an extra charge, your flight can come with angst and insecurity."

"I'd rather be at the office."

"Relax, Marge! I'm sure the folks at 'Ultimate Pirate Adventures'. . ."

'Why are you still sitting here, dear? This is a tropical getaway. It means, get away!'

'Sometimes it's not a very good idea to be indecisive.'

"Endless Summer III"

'I'm not taking any chances with the water jump this year.'

Laughing Ahead 1 Mile

Skiing Holiday

"You know your problem, Monte? There's more to life than always checking how your stocks are doing."

"Yes, it is true! I've finally persuaded Derek to take a holiday."

"Hey, this is a marathon, not a sprint."

Excess Baggage: Anyone who thinks business travel is glamorous should have a talk with a business traveler.

'Not Andy. He'd rather do anything than go on the family vacation.'

"I just can't seem to get into the spirit of the thing."

'How do roosters in the land of the rising sun get any rest?'

"I hate travel."

'My travel agent didn't tell me about thissss!'

Men should not be afraid to stop and ask for directions.

On this site will be located the sleepy little fishing village of Puerta Alba.

"Yes, I'm usually sat next to some jabbering idiot for eight hours!"

How to find a Restaurant in Ireland

"Let's go someplace awful to avoid the tourists."