Fume Fan Gifts

'Hey, you, the geek with the Coke bottle glasses and a fat nose ... 'Obnoxious Fumes.'

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

Man using to much bug spray

'So, what do you think of my first attempt at making homemade beer?'

Two vending machines for fisherman: 'Live Bait' next to 'Dead as a Doornail Bait'

"Finally a perfume store my husband will enjoy visiting."

"It's not expensive, sir, when you consider it's long smell-by date!"

Professor Algarth Zag, pioneer in fire research.

"I just love candle-lit dinners."

"Love your ambiance!"

"The doctor said it wouldn't hurt to fudge a little on my diet."

'Are these mushrooms edible?'

Donald Trump

"Wake up."

'Jack contracted botrytis cinerea. It hasn't done much for his looks, but his disposition's a lot sweeter.'

'This underground facility allows us to be closely involved with proton decay, gravity waves, neutrinos and the growing and selling of mushrooms.'

"This will make the man in your life wonder where you went."

'Old spice?'

Napoleon Blownafart

"What would you say if I was thinking about replacing the toadstools and beanbag chairs?"

Only a handful of people are this small.

John Boynton Priestley

"I've got vodka-flavored fluoride, whiskey or peppermint schnapps."

Even the skunk blames the dog.

'We have to put up with a fair bit to find these truffles, but we think they're worth it.'

'I need a new scent.'

"What can I put behind my ears to attract men?"

Beer...Better living through zymurgy.

'That perfume you're wearing smells funny. I love it!'

"It's nice to look at, but what else is it good for."

'Never mind the flambe...I'll have the icecream.'