Fuel Finance Fanatic Gifts

Gas Prices

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

Profit

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

'We're under capitalized. As soon as we reach the break even point we'll buy a lemon.'

GAS PRICES AT PUMP

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

"Son, you're old enough now for The Talk: everything you need to know about compound interest."

Desk plaques: 'Money isn't everything' '...Which makes it no less awesome in my opinion.'

"#Win!"

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

It's okay Mom! As a broker, I'm under supervision of the SEC!

"O.K. he's a billionaire, but how much of it is in cash?"

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

'He's downgrading the credit agencies.'

'And finally, there is the universal solution.'

World Economic Crisis.

'Not bad, Ms. Newborn. But take another crack at it, and this time remember that 'earnings-per-share' is the alter upon which all other numbers are sacrificed.'

'When investment bankers give parental advice'

'A representative from Merrill Lynch to see you.'

Fish and color

The bad news is our boxer shorts are still bursting into flames. The good news is our brand recognition is through the roof

'Let's try this church. They welcome all denominations!'

"For details on the bear market, here's a bear..."

"Ed and Helen's portfolio rose 3 point today on Dave's purchase of 100 shares..."

'So, gentlemen, how's the dollar trading against the immortal soul, today?'

"Now I'll demonstrate how, with a minimum of capital investment, you can make a mountain out of a molehill!"

'Don't tell me how much you love me. Tell me how my stock is going.'

'Normally, I would give credit where credit is due but we're in a credit crunch. Therefore, I will take all the credit for your hard work on this project.'

We need to put more money into Lithuanian sardine futures...I think that warrants bonuses all around!