Frustrated Smoker Gifts

'No smoking in the building, Haskins.'

"Breathe in and reimagine yourself in a world where you lived a healthy lifestyle."

"The third leading cause of forest fires."

Top Ten New Year's Resolutions

Professional woman in pub

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

"Dear Diary... I've stopped smoking, and I'm sticking to my diet."

'So OK. . . I should quit smoking, but I scratched that off my bucket list years ago!'

"I suppose you heard about the crazy smoker who wound in a menthol hospital?"

'You're meant to take off the old nicotine patches before putting on a new one!'

"The doctor will bill you now."

'It's a side effect of giving up smoking.'

"Your tests are back. We've ruled out anything covered by your HMO."

"I see you went to the hypnotherapist"

'I don't understand why people say I'm having trouble quitting.'

Smokers.

I'm giving you a prescription for hard-to-remove stop smoking patches. Place one over the opening of every pack of cigarettes you buy.

He had tried many ways to quit smoking but only one worked.

"There's nothing wrong with my eye. It's a nicotine patch."

Insurance Co. Your right leg? Oh, dear, that's unfortunate.

'Isn't it bad for you?...no I haven't managed to light one yet!'

'Oh man, I should really give up smoking!'

"I'm thinking of giving up social media. . . shouldn't be too difficult, I did quit smoking in the noughties."

Smoking jackets outide menswear shop

'I quit smoking weeks ago but Bruno didn't want to go along with the program.'

'I gave up smoking.'

"I'm down to five a day with this new brand."

'I don't smoke. My doctor told me I need to get outside more.'

Man carring plans

'But Darling, how can it possibly be bad for me? I only smoke a couple a day...'

"The nicotine patches have been great Dr, he hasn't been able to find the cigarettes since Thursday."

Custer objects to passive smoking, and immediately launches the west into another great Indian war.

"Quit smoking and stay out of the sun."

"Eighty-five dollars, just to poke my head through the door! Doesn't that make you sick?"

'You smoke, we'll do the rest! Okay?'