Frustrated Graduate Gifts

It's a Millennial Generation Life off!

'I have this fear of the real world...'

'I've already been recruited by one of the top fast-food chains in the country!'

'I wasted a lot of time in graduate school to get this job.'

'You will now be presented with your degrees. That is, of course, after you jump through another one of our little hoops.'

Day one, post grad

"The labor market is awaiting you!"

Teacher and students.

"Congratulations. Please remember the college's financial plight. Congratulations. Please remember the college's financial plight. Congratulations. Please remember . . ."

'You're kidding... I've got a masters in philosophy too!'

'F.G.G. First Grade Graduate.'

'Unfortunately our definition of 'job' differs.'

Graduating Zumba Cum Laude

Graduate

'We sell gifts for people to give to graduates they know.'

I'm forgetting which college is which. Their brochures are all alike. University of. It's always fall or spring. Apply! There's always a multi-cultural group of kids hanging out. There's always a girl in goggles working in a science lab with an ethnic-looking prof. It's reassuring. They all celebrate their diversity in the exact same way! And charge the exact same for it!

Principal: 'Is THERE a DOCTORATE in the House?!'

I hate group projects

Before graduating, students at Flegburn High were required to read their diplomas out loud.

'Do you have one called Job?'

Fresh out of school, new hire Justin Huffenberger is temporarily stunned and disoriented by the light at the end of the university tunnel.

'..And remember, your success will be measured in how much you donate to the university's alumni fund.'

'I'm now ready to make my own way in the world. But first, can you guys loan me 200 grand to pay off my student loan?'

A Guide to Academic Gowns and Hoods

"Wow! Your dog really is smarter than an honor roll student!"

"I figure that by the time I’m 62, I’ll have no student-loan debt, then, who knows – maybe start a family."

Admit it! You're gonna miss High School. Best 5 1/2 Years of Your Life.

'Nice resume but graduating 'summa cum student loan' isn't really something to brag about.'

Their son was in a class of his own.

"Hey! Mine is a list of debt counselors."

A teacher in mortar board and gown

Grabbed By Gorilla

'That won't get you the job, you might however be able to make a fiver from the frame'

'Do we flip a coin to see which one gets the job?'

Graduating in the Age of COVID