Frustrated Farmer Gifts

Give up Gardening, I should.

"Westminster's over, Shep-it's all about possums now."

'Why do I have to do this? -- Violins never solve anything!'

'Do you mind if I take a few pictures, Bill?

"I hate doing appraisals, it involves thinking about them."

Tropical Cow Tank

'Thinking quickly, Ernie jerked out his instamatic and clicked away at his farm below.'

"Maybe strawberries would have made more sense."

"Declared Victory Garden"

A military officer daydreams

'She leaves before I finish her portrait.'

'You're supposed to fetch the stick back,not throw it.'

"If I hear one more buzz I will pull this car over!"

The three laws pf pen-o-dynamics

"What don't you understand about 'fetch'?"

'Thank you for calling the Zepco mattresses hotline...'

'Easiest job I've ever had: Farmer Jones is paying me $5 an hour to be a scarecrow...'

'According to my bank statement...THEY are overdrawn.'

Agoraphobic Cowboys: 'Give me land, not much land, in a tight confining space please fence me in!'

That's right! I'm River Banksey!

"If you would like to listen to music while you are on hold press 1, If you would like some quiet time to work out how much this call is costing press 2, if...."

A man moves to shoot the last leaf from a tree in autumn.

Miserable selfie

"See? I told you those ventriloquist lessons would pay off for us some day!"

Don't worry, I'm not grazing, I'm looking for my contact lens!

'Golf was too frustrating, so Ed took up painting!'

Some especially annoying types of packaging.

"yetthhh, i hold..."

I need a credit card, I'm tired of my cheques bouncing.

Barry shows off his new woodchuck farm.

'You don't qualify for a loan or a credit card. We can, however, over you a free bank calender.'

'If this is the conflict resolution hotline, why are you ticking me off??!!

"If you have a touch tone telephone, please choose from the following 12,847 options. . ."

"I dunno. Have you been watering them?"

"She just said 'To hell with this put-out-to-pasture bulls**t. I'm hittin' the open road!!'"